Day 3
I was sitting in the back of the Atelier de Montefiore as a friend of the employee Lucielle. She somewhat resembled Susie at some point, but ultimately her form resembled a Chinese girl with long black hair. We had known each other for a long time. She was generally occupied with her store closing tasks, there was about an hour left. I got up, another friend of mine came to visit. He was well dressed with a stylish loose fitting sweater. We spoke in a respectfully quiet tone, as not to draw attention. Another patron approached us, perhaps asking my friend for his opinion on something, but it seemed they didn’t like the answer and walked away.
I felt like I was enjoying the last day of summer. Nothing remarkable delineated the passage of time. Unremarkably nothing differentiated this moment from this moment to this moment, and yet all at once grains of sand become a heap. I broke away from the conversation and gestured for Lucy's attention. I asked if it would be alright to photograph her with my camera I had upstairs. "Go ahead," she said disinterestedly. There were a few mobile ladders around the floor for reaching items high on the shelves, but instead, I felt impulsive and decided to climb up one of the metal support poles. Arm over arm, I pulled myself to the railing of the second floor and hoisted myself over. There were no patrons anyways. I hoped Lucy at least found it amusing.
I went in the backroom where we had put down our belongings, passing a magazine on the table featuring Suntory AO Whiskey. I began rummaging through my duffel before pulling out my DSLR. As I stood, I was surprised that Lucy had come up, leaving the counter unattended. Was this the look of a wife who had waited for their husband to be released from jail? Maybe a desperate joy in seeing someone recover from memory loss. In you, was a part of me, and in me, a part of you.
The music I wrote rung in my ears. I embraced her in abandon. Crying. Wailing. I hugged her chest tight, her loose hair under my splayed fingers on her back.
I love you, oh how I love you, I love you more than anything--anything could happen and anything could twist yet I know now more confidently than anything else that I love you and I love this moment of holding you. I saw the sheet music of the song I wrote for her. I realized I had loved her for a long while. It was always in me. It will always be with me.